[[*W i n t e r T e a r s*]]

16.4.06

[[feeling the stress]]

as seen on the title, I am feeling the stress of a few CCAs and my studies. Actually I am starting to feel the effect of me not able to handle everything already. Is it 'cause I should not have chosen to go to ReCo? maybe I seriously should not have if i want to stay in my other ccas. e.g. band.
Last week i just had a physics test. in the midst of the start of taking over of match supports and sports day. in the midst of my 3 am marathon. and as expected i did super duper badly. I probably did the worst in my class. and of course in my whole life i guess. never seen any results of mine worse than that. maybe i was just putting up a strong front. i didnt break down. i didnt cry. i didnt complain. all i simply did was to continue writing christa's testimonial for her exco form. i guess i was simply deceiving myself when i keep saying it's expected. 'cause i did had a last minute revision during the break. i could have not done so badly right? At least not all the careless mistakes? when the others ask me how i did, i simply told them the truth, expressionless and un-bothered about it. but recalling back, i was feeling really terrible deep inside. it was as if i failed myself. i have done the worst thing ever in my whole life. i m the worst person ever in the whole universe. It was that kind of feeling.
When i reached home, really late after sports day and class outing, I didn't tell my mum about it. I don't want her to worry. I know she wont scold me on that. but.. I need someone to talk to. just like what happened when i first failed a test in my whole life. At least i have my mum around to cry to about. now that she's all worried about my sister's PSLE, I don't want to add on to her burden, especially when i don't have to. All i can do now is to bury this deep down and use it as my motivation to work hard. strive hard for my next test and do well. Never to fail another test as long as i can help it. but i am feeling really tired about all these. I am afraid i lack the stamina to continue. I simply feel like giving up.

no! NO! i can't! and I shan't! no matter how tough it is going to be, I will survive through the 2 years! JIA YOU PEIZHEN! YOU CAN DO IT!!

[[Story Written On By pZ]]*|7:51:00 p.m.|

[[*The Writer*]]

name: peizhen
bdae:05 may 1989
age: 19+
horoscope: taurus
nicks: pz
skool: peiying pri, st nicks, vj, nus
location: singapore
worth: $2,133,082

resolution: none currently

[[*My Adores*]]

food:any food!
drinks: iced cold ones! esp chocolate!
pastimes: listening to music, playing music, slacking, stoning
people: all who consider me as a friend! (:

[[*My Detests*]]

people: none so far! hopefully forever too!
food: anything tasteless or taste horrible!

[[*Music's Playing*]]

artist: tank
song: give me your love

[[*My Past Memories*]]

[[*The Conversations*]]

[[*My Friends*]]

[[*Credits*]]