[[*W i n t e r T e a r s*]]

28.8.08

[[screwed-up!]]

How bad can things turn out to be?

Firstly, a whole series of days without proper/well/enough sleep. Reason being - helping a group of my friends campaigning for USP MC which actually ain't such a big event. We totally over-did it. How good a reason is that to cause severe lack of sleep and time to study/do hall activities and other more essential stuffs?

Secondly, I just freaking missed my laboratory session! How bad can that get? It is 20% of my grades. If my parents ever found out about it, I am so dead! And why did I miss my laboratory session? I woke up in time at 7am, switched off my alarm, hoping that the other 2 at a later time will wake me up. But apparently I heard nothing after that. All the way till 11 plus am which is like a few minutes away from the end of the lab session!

Thirdly, after freaking out over the missed lab session, I have to fall asleep again! And now I missed my lecture too. Thus another 2 hours on some other days wasted just to re-watch on the lecture online.

I am totally worse than crap. It is barely the start of the 4 years stay in university and I am already at this state. I really have no idea how I am going to survive through the 4 years without turning crazy. I meant really mentally nuts crazy. Gosh.

[[Story Written On By pZ]]*|12:44:00 p.m.|

15.8.08

[[so tired of life]]

I am just so tired of life. Especially my current pathetic life which basically isn't even a life.
As what the vj people would say, I am totally doing a 'peizhen' again! And the extent increased by double or even triple now! I am totally insane to have committed to so many things once again.

I am so tired that even as I am typing this out, I am dozing off. I probably cant make any other parts of my body now other than my fingers.

The feeling of perpetual tiredness is really eating into me. Making me someone really stone, someone really unenthusiastic, someone without emotions basically.

The feeling of perpetual hunger is really killing me. Due to my packed to the max schedule, I have skipping meals like crazy. Honestly speaking, I haven't had any meals (breakfast/dinner) with the rest of my hall people, when those meals are actually catered for us! I am such a money sucker, don't you agree? Wasting money by paying for the food and not eat them. Wasting money for buying outside food to eat instead. That's double wastage! There are so many people out there desperately in need of these money and here I am wasting it. I really hate me!

Now we are just left with total mind blank and brain dead-ness. Nothing is processing. Nothing is going through.

How I wish time would freeze together with my brain now... but of course it doesn't ):

[[Story Written On By pZ]]*|2:02:00 a.m.|

14.8.08

[[really wrong?]]

The title might not sound that right, but that is exactly what I have been encountering with the past few days. But before that, let me backtrack a bit to NUS RAG DAY! (:

NUS RAG DAY is totally the event of the year! For people who don't know about this, it is basically like Singapore's Chingay Parade. We come together as faculties, halls and make really beautiful floats out of 'supposedly' waste. (but seriously, the amount of money spent on buying materials is like crazily huge! ><)
And of course, with the floats, we have to do a dance performance linking it with the theme we get/chose? that I am not too sure. Anyway I was helping out with USP Rag Dance. I must really really say, the practices are like crazily long and especially to wee hours of the night! I have been reaching my hall at like 3am? And sleeping at 5am is becoming a norm to me. [well, now is a good example why I am still awake :p]
Anyway, despite the crazy hours of practice, we really bond a lot during those hours and hours of practice till every dance moves is like a part of our daily movements, just like breathing. LOL. That is a little exaggerated.
Oh yes! With the theme Caberret, our dance moves and costumes are totally scanty to the max. I have never felt that I am so slutty before. The hair, make-up, everything! OMG. Anyway to catch a glimpse of it, go search under my Facebook photos. There're tonnes of them. I wonder how could I have even gotten that cam-horring vibe when I was looking like that.
Just like all the performances, everything on stage zoomed past! Before I realised, I was off the stage, screaming with joy and hugging people around. All the crazy stuffs I have been doing is like to an end! And after I cooled down, I really felt a loss suddenly. Somehow, something is just amiss, isnt it?

After all the crazy fun, work sets in and it is the first day of school! And something sounding totally wrong happened. Basically, I shared a cab with this USP friend, and his cousin and his cousin's friend back to NUS. After that, my USP friend and I decided to meet at Central Forum to see the Al Gore's The Inconvenient Truth which is needed for a module that both of us are taking. But due to the weak speakers on his laptop, he went up to fetch the speakers from Chatterbox. BUT the plugs of the speakers couldn't fit into the socket! In the end, we randomly decided to do this tutorial for maths. Which is really random! Oh and in the midst of all these, I was helping him post his rag photos on Facebook. Anyway, this whole thing continued till 2plus am in the morning. And determined to watch at least a bit of the film (which was our purpose), we went up to Chatterbox to watch. It was freezing cold inside Chatterbox but anyway we found a cosy room and set up everything. Chosy as he is, he picked another sofa to sit on, and out of convenience sake, pushed the nearer sofa away and essentially blocked off the door! Well essentially, I can say that I was locked in by him. (this sounds super wrong, I know!) And despite the hundred and one times I wake up through out the whole night, I couldn't get out of the freezing room and just freaking walk back to my cosy hall. I waited and slept in really awkward positions, causing muscle cramps and aches till his alarm rang at 6.45am. Finally, he budged and woke up. Lucky for me, I had afternoon lectures only. I basically zonked off straight after taking out my contact lenses in my room. That was such a WRONG day!
And to make things worse, there continued to be increasingly weird and wrong places where we were seen together. Though there is absolutely nothing wrong and nothing between us. At least that's what I think so...

[[Story Written On By pZ]]*|4:08:00 a.m.|

[[*The Writer*]]

name: peizhen
bdae:05 may 1989
age: 19+
horoscope: taurus
nicks: pz
skool: peiying pri, st nicks, vj, nus
location: singapore
worth: $2,133,082

resolution: none currently

[[*My Adores*]]

food:any food!
drinks: iced cold ones! esp chocolate!
pastimes: listening to music, playing music, slacking, stoning
people: all who consider me as a friend! (:

[[*My Detests*]]

people: none so far! hopefully forever too!
food: anything tasteless or taste horrible!

[[*Music's Playing*]]

artist: tank
song: give me your love

[[*My Past Memories*]]

[[*The Conversations*]]

[[*My Friends*]]

[[*Credits*]]