[[*W i n t e r T e a r s*]]

26.4.06

[[normal? abnormal day?]]

hmm.. today i expected it to be a normal day? without any special events. but just plain lectures, physics test and band prac. but it's way more than just that.

Firstly, suddenly at the last minute there's match support for softball at HCI?! O.o totally not prepared. oh wells.

Secondly, i got on the bus then i realised i have interview and had to stop halfway somewhere at duno wat singapore duno wat place. luckily isabella told me where to take bus if not i will probably have to take cab which will cost a bomb!! I am seriously having phobia of taxi fares!! they are like eating up my wallet. or at least keeping it very very slim. I rather it to be on my tummy than my wallet >< i seriously don't mind a fat chubby wallet. lol! like who will mind?

Thirdly, when i reached school, I still had time to go for the chem lecture but i didnt!! oh wells. 'cause it's really weird rite? esp when i dont have my bag with me? the lecturer will probably have a super bad impression on me. esp with my big blue tag on! oh ya! sorry kenli!! (tho i doubt she will see it) i troubled her sooo much and i bet i irritated her with my smses. After that, having nothing much to do, I went to take lunch to kill time. (one reason why i m getting fatter - i eat for leisure?!) watever! met yongfeng and he sort of joined me upon seeing that i am alone. nice of him to have done that (: thanks!

Last of all, i think, my interview was as expected not very easy. but.. is Student Council really that horrible? it's not that busy as everyone thinks! hais. oh wells.. as expected again. anw i will try my best to cooperate with the exco ppl still (: similarly for piano. that's if i continue staying in piano? hmm.. i might? oh yes! very imptly, i must thank george for all his effort! thanks a lot!! i can tell that u really fought hard for me. but sorry to disappoint you ): btw do take a good rest! you don't really look that well today. yep!

oh yes! thats not the last. during band prac, after the break, i was constantly staring at my phone for jireh to sms me when they are abt to celebrate yonathan's b'dae. and what happened? he forgot! okayyy.. nice. i specially rushed downstairs to buy the cake. go through sooo much trouble bringing the cake to school through my 1 hr plus journey. beg the uncle to keep the cake for us. got teachers to keep the cakes for us. and in the end i didnt even join in the celebration. okayy.. oh wells. but i don't blame jireh. he's stressed too. just my luck i guess.

okay. enough of not so good stuffs. today's physics test. i thought was qte bad. but it turned out that i have qte a few similar answers to wang ming and huang rui! it equals to high chances of passing (: okay. thats the only good thing i can think of about today. but.. at the maths lecture today. when i was walking down the stairs i scratched my leg with the LT chairs. HURTS!! >< even till now! this sucks!
oh wells. just a more screwed than good day today. hopefully everything will turn out better tomorrow! (:

[[Story Written On By pZ]]*|10:32:00 p.m.|

16.4.06

[[feeling the stress]]

as seen on the title, I am feeling the stress of a few CCAs and my studies. Actually I am starting to feel the effect of me not able to handle everything already. Is it 'cause I should not have chosen to go to ReCo? maybe I seriously should not have if i want to stay in my other ccas. e.g. band.
Last week i just had a physics test. in the midst of the start of taking over of match supports and sports day. in the midst of my 3 am marathon. and as expected i did super duper badly. I probably did the worst in my class. and of course in my whole life i guess. never seen any results of mine worse than that. maybe i was just putting up a strong front. i didnt break down. i didnt cry. i didnt complain. all i simply did was to continue writing christa's testimonial for her exco form. i guess i was simply deceiving myself when i keep saying it's expected. 'cause i did had a last minute revision during the break. i could have not done so badly right? At least not all the careless mistakes? when the others ask me how i did, i simply told them the truth, expressionless and un-bothered about it. but recalling back, i was feeling really terrible deep inside. it was as if i failed myself. i have done the worst thing ever in my whole life. i m the worst person ever in the whole universe. It was that kind of feeling.
When i reached home, really late after sports day and class outing, I didn't tell my mum about it. I don't want her to worry. I know she wont scold me on that. but.. I need someone to talk to. just like what happened when i first failed a test in my whole life. At least i have my mum around to cry to about. now that she's all worried about my sister's PSLE, I don't want to add on to her burden, especially when i don't have to. All i can do now is to bury this deep down and use it as my motivation to work hard. strive hard for my next test and do well. Never to fail another test as long as i can help it. but i am feeling really tired about all these. I am afraid i lack the stamina to continue. I simply feel like giving up.

no! NO! i can't! and I shan't! no matter how tough it is going to be, I will survive through the 2 years! JIA YOU PEIZHEN! YOU CAN DO IT!!

[[Story Written On By pZ]]*|7:51:00 p.m.|

5.4.06

[[where's the S46 spirit?]]

first of all, something out of the topic. but oh wells. i realised i can no longer study at home. especially when i reach home so late. totally no mood to study at all? suddenly i m sort of glad that there are sooo many long breaks for me to study and really catch up with my tutorials and lectures. if not, i don't know what will become of me. Another discovery! my main source of stress is actually studies and academic! and of course the stress is self imposed. my parents are really lenient to me to think of that. I m the one pushing myself to finish this and that etc. hmm.. glad that i push myself hard enough. (:

back to topic! WHERE IS MY CLASS SPIRIT?? where has that enthu class S46 gone to? I really miss my 1st 3 months S46. It's so much more united and enthusiatic. is it 'cause of the studies that everyone becomes more serious and no longer in for the fun? i doubt so... where's the problem? what went wrong? but reflecting on myself, I have been less enthu too. getting really tired about everything. probably 'cause of the travelling? I really hope i can take it.. i hope..

other than that, everyone seems to be so separated into small groups? this is really bad! can someone please please salvage the situation? i don't want to follow the snr's class footsteps.. please... I really lack the strength and will to do this all alone. I feel really helpless now. honestly speaking, i miss the days when james was still CT rep. at least he's more enthu and takes in all the real fun ideas readily! not that i m saying clement is lousy. but just that he lacks the enthusiasm i guess. and partially 'cause i m losing my momentum in being enthu. losing that drive in me. thinking back.. james was afterall a not bad CT rep. to think we were actually complaining about him. humans beings are always like that. we see only the flaws of others but not their good points. It's only when it's gone that we learn to treasure it. As for my class problem, I really don't know what to do. how to help and change the current situation. someone, anyone please help me..

to end off, i shall say a bit of out of topic stuffs again. i wonder how's the investiture going along.. fine? maybe i should go see the website. but i think we (as in those not in ad hoc) are just slacking around. i hope the ad hoc ppl are not slogging away. If need help, I don't mind helping in any ways i can (: but then again. I doubt they would see this post. LOL! as for cheerleading.. It's kind of lack of time!! and we are just about half of it only? hmm.. it's really un-prepared. LOL! hopefully all will just turn out fine! (: i seriously hope so! oh ya!! last thing of the post! tomorrow or rather today sc mtg choosing comm!! haha. I want to be in exco! i wonder if i can though.. hopefully (: good luck to TJ SC nominee for your speeches! (:

[[Story Written On By pZ]]*|12:03:00 a.m.|

2.4.06

[[another "typical" quarrel?]]

i just had a quarrel with my dad again. it's AGAIN. why do i always seem to have clashes with him? but i must admit i really hate quarrels with anyone. it seriously sucks. 'cause in the end i always seem to be the one at the losing end. feeling all the negative after effects of the quarrel. just like now. distracted from my work.on the verge of tears. thinking about.. i don't even know what i'm thinking actually. probably just feel like venting it out. maybe that's what you mean by stress? but why only towards my dad? not my mum? my sister? this is definitely not the typical stress then. sometimes i really hate myself for being so unreasonable and impatient. recalling back what happened just a few minutes ago i was at fault too. >< BUT he's really talking in circles with no meaning and solid content in his words. argh!! now i m so distracted from everything. i can't concentrate on my work. but i have set my deadline to finish this TODAY! where's the help and support from my family? oh gosh! i m feeling really helpless now! >< someone help me out of this! i realise i am still far from emotional resilient .. far from that..

[[Story Written On By pZ]]*|10:37:00 p.m.|

1.4.06

[[music fest!! (:]]

rocks!! hahas. all the finalists are really of a certain standard. nice performance put up by all of you guys! (: oh ya!! CONGRATS KYNA! :D your group dance is really cool (: ahha.. totally love it!
sadly i missed the solo vocalist first 2 contestants. hmm. cos of the duty. why did the GOH come SOOO LATE?! time is sooo precious! okok. it's all over now. music fest is really SOOO COOL!! C-O-O-L! hahha.
all the fun aside, my duty is really slack. nothing much actually. haha. during intermission, i just freeze my hands by carrying around those freezing cold cans of coke. oh yes! to the topic of coke, I M SO GONNA HATE COKE!! we practically spent an hour or so just cleaning of all coke spills everywhere. luckily its just around the PT there. not inside. if not i think we would probably have to stay over just to clean everything up. irritating clement! I M NOT LEARNING TO DO CHORES! :p if i don't clean up, who will? i think the worst are still those who spill the coke and did not even bother to take tissue to at least wipe it away. i heard from jumaiyah that there's a group of ppl who actually stepped on 3 cans of coke FOR FUN! and walked off without even bothering to clean it up. what's their problem mans? >< don't they understand how precious food and drinks are? don't they understand it's not fun and enjoying to clean up the mess others made? oh wells. we just did it anyway. but with everyone around supporting, the task is quickly done and settled (: TEAMWORK ROCKKS!!
YES! important issue!! i found another person with the same birthday as ME!! wheee.. (: this rocks man! hahah. thats jumaiyah! TAURUS TAURUS ALL THE WAY! ahhaha.. i think other than the stubborn part of taurus, taurus totally rockks! oops. thats a little ego. but i seriously think jumaiyah rockks! (: haha. go girl! oh yes! even though i know you most probably won't see this post. but please take care! especially your leg muscle ache ya?! don't overexert yourself! (: oh yes! very importantly SMILE!:D to all fellow elects, you guys totally rockks. and do rest well and enjoy the weekends! hahaha..
(got the feeling that i m talking to myself -.-")
LOL. enough of crapping i guess. but the fun i have in just a day is not just plainly this post. in fact i doubt it can even be written out in complete. today or rather yesterday totally ROCKKS!

[[Story Written On By pZ]]*|12:23:00 a.m.|

[[*The Writer*]]

name: peizhen
bdae:05 may 1989
age: 19+
horoscope: taurus
nicks: pz
skool: peiying pri, st nicks, vj, nus
location: singapore
worth: $2,133,082

resolution: none currently

[[*My Adores*]]

food:any food!
drinks: iced cold ones! esp chocolate!
pastimes: listening to music, playing music, slacking, stoning
people: all who consider me as a friend! (:

[[*My Detests*]]

people: none so far! hopefully forever too!
food: anything tasteless or taste horrible!

[[*Music's Playing*]]

artist: tank
song: give me your love

[[*My Past Memories*]]

[[*The Conversations*]]

[[*My Friends*]]

[[*Credits*]]